It was a smart career plan gone terribly wrong. It relies on name recognition and a safe place to dump the kids for 120 minutes. (1) Find a famous novel that (2) was already made into an equally famous movie. (3) Remake it fashioning the story for your star. The Jules Verne novel is famous. The 1956 movie by Mike Todd is equally well-known but vaguely remembered now. Chan’s management team took the notion of a remake and pushed aside the main character to highlight the servant!

Jackie Chan is playing a 50 year-old servant (who kicks butt).

How in the world can you justify re-doing a movie as dated as this? First off, the hero is named Phileas Fogg. He is played by Steve Coogan who was fantastic in 24 HOUR PARTY PEOPLE. Coogan is just collecting a paycheck here. He does not have one moment of screen time to highlight his charm, acting, or star potential. He is at the mercy of Chan’s hand-picked director.

Now that we have disposed of Fogg, his reluctant French-speaking, Chinese valet Passepartot/Lau Xing (Jackie Chan) is really hiding out from the police since he stole a jade Buddha that was stolen from his village.

Passepartot encounters idle-rich British inventor Fogg as he is once again trying out a flying machine right in the middle of London. His assistant flees in disgust and Passepartot takes his place in the flying machine. Causing havoc on the streets, Fogg’s colleagues at the Royal Academy of Science make him a wager. He cannot circumnavigate the world in 80 days. Ah, the games the idle rich play to amuse themselves!

Passepartot goes along since he needs a clever way out of London back to his village. Sometimes he keeps the priceless jade Buddha in a bag. On their trip, Passepartot and tag-along Fogg meet a French artist, Monique La Roche (Cecile de France). She is set decoration and a love interest for Fogg. Otherwise, 80 DAYS might be construed as a buddy film.

Everything, except Arnold, is terrible. A slapstick comedy starring Chan, without the right buddy to play off of, just does not work. Chan, once again struggling to be understood, should not be carrying a comedy by himself.

I enjoyed SHANGHAI NOON and SHANGHAI KNIGHTS, both co-starring Owen Wilson. Their chemistry works since Wilson has a slacker attitude that plays well against Chan’s hyper-manic style of acting. He makes broad faces. However, my negative review of THE TUXEDO brought many emails from his fans. I was very surprised at just how many fans Chan has. They are devoted to him. Every email was respectful but hoped I was wrong.

The writers are to blame: David Titcher, David Benullo and David Goldstein. The director, Frank Coraci, is showing off his ability to do a big picture with lots of locations. Apparently only Chan will be held accountable for this debacle. Arnold Schwarzenegger, as Prince Hapi, gives 80 DAYS a tiny glimmer of joyful fun. He’s enjoying himself. And, for reasons best known to Chan, 80 DAYS has two bathtub scenes. Thre is one with Fogg and Passepartot and one with Fogg, Passepartot and Monique, who find themselves in a big bathtub with Prince Hapi.

AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS
Buena Vista Pictures
Walt Disney Pictures and Walden Media

Credits:
Director: Frank Coraci
Screenwriters: David Titcher, David Benullo, David Goldstein
Based on the novel by: Jules Verne
Producers: Hal Lieberman, Bill Badalato
Executive producers: Jackie Chan, Willie Chan
Solon So, Alex Schwartz, Phyllis Alia
Director of photography: Phil Meheux
Production designer: Perry Andelin Blake
Music: Trevor Jones
Co-producers: Henning Molfenter, Thierry Potok
Costume designer: Anna Sheppard
Editor: Tom Lewis

Cast:
Passepartot/Lau Xing: Jackie Chan
Phileas Fogg: Steve Coogan
Lord Kelvin: Jim Broadbent
Prince Hapi: Arnold Schwarzenegger
Monique La Roche: Cecile de France
Inspector Fox: Ewen Bremner
General Fang: Karen Joy Morris
Hobo: Rob Schneider
Queen Victoria: Kathy Bates

MPAA rating PG
Running time -- 120 minutes

by Victoria Alexander - FilmsInReview.com